Friday, January 6, 2012

1.3.2 (Trois)

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Moon Spark's PoV


I watched Raz saddle up the horses, "So her name is Rosy?" I questioned while I made use of myself by getting the bridals ready.

"Yah, Rosy Starling, Quincy and I were on a cattle run up on the ridge and came across her stuck on some embankment, I think she was lost from her herd." He replied, finishing up the last strap on Rosy's saddle. I finished up on Ghost, looping his leather bridal strap around his ears. "I couldn't separate her from Ghost, they seemed to be quick friends, do you plan on breeding?"



We gathered ourselves up and then I replied, "Yah, I haven't really thought about that, I guess." I really hadn't thought about any of that when I had come back from Bridgeport.



I ran my hand down Ghost's neck, "I guess he's a pretty handsome boy, I wouldn't mind having more of him around!" I chimed, very amused with this new idea.



I could only assume Ghost agreed, letting out a snickering whinny!





Raz took the lead, gently heeling Rosy in the sides to get her going. Soon we were out of the paddocks and making our way toward the road. Their hooves clicking on the ground with soft padding sounds, until we reached the pavement where they soon turned into louder, cautious steps.



I was relieved he hadn't seen my call, but I was surprised that he happened to make his way over at the most peculiar time, just after that call. I guess some Great Berry out there was watching out for me, or perhaps answering my wishes. Could they be wishes? Or wants? I didn't really think too hard about it, my eyes looked at the back of Raz's head, his pink highlights shining in the sun that would be soon fading. I admired him, without really knowing him or even having to see his face and that comfortable feeling came over me again.



"Where is this place you want to show me? It looks like evenings coming pretty quickly, I hope it's not too far." I spoke up loudly just in case he didn't hear me. But I honestly didn't care how long this was taking, I don't know why I even asked when I was having more fun enjoying this at least it was better than yesterday!

"Not too far, but don't whine too much, you'll take the excitement out of it!" Raz turned and looked at me for a moment, perhaps he wanted to see if I would make a face at him, it was too late by the time he turned back around.



"Is that so? Because I suck the fun out of any and everything?"

"Maybe, but I don't know you, at least not yet!" He said, rather full of himself and confident. I just snorted to myself, holding off laughter and holding back how much I kind of liked that idea.





The hills were shadowy, the sun sinking past the mountains and ridges and it was soon filling the skies with more colors and vibrancy. We were silence most of the ride, perhaps because we didn't know what to talk about or maybe because we were at peace and feared one of us would fuck it up somehow. I didn't want to be that fool again, and so I relaxed atop Ghost and let him take the reins, following Rosy into the hills.



We reached a beach, I am pretty sure I had been there before when I was younger. What was the name of it? It slipped my mind but so did the memories as Raz came to a stop in from of me, he let his reins loose and allowed Rosy to start munching down on some crisp grass below us.



"So why this place? I mean this beach?" My eyes were looking around but soon fell upon him, Ghost so conveniently moving himself so that I had to make effort to look at Raz.



"Well I used to come here a lot when I needed to think and start over. I ran away a lot when I was younger I guess you could say this place really helped me come to terms with a lot of issues." He began confessing some deep thoughts to me, and I felt like I needed to hold him... but I just looked at him, maybe he could see that I really wanted to be there for him and his confession really seemed to relate to a lot of what I was going through. What I this paper thin? I felt like he got me and maybe he had some crazy lesson for me... I dropped the thoughts.



"Uh huh," I whispered. "I can get that, really I think I have made Elysian Skies that for myself. But I don't know if it's really the right place to run away to when I am actually running away from it." I couldn't believe I let it slip, but it was a relief.





"Well you can borrow this place from me," Raz said softly as the horses munched and moved slightly. "Only if you really need it of course, it's kind of why I brought you here." He smiled, I could see him doing so though he had turned his head down.





I stared up into the sky, and laughed a little out loud. "I can't imagine how you did it," I said, "you must be magic, knowing that I need this." I hid my blushing, though I am sure he caught on to the schoolgirl crush I was developing on him. I hadn't noticed him getting off Rosy, but I turned back to see him peering up at me.



"Come here, please, Moon." His voice drifted up to me, but I fell into those endearing sapphire eyes of his.



"Another place for me to go?" I joked in the slightest before nodding and dismounting from Ghost, we allowed the two to go off and graze as I stepped closer to Raz...





He instructed me to follow him a little ways down to the sandy part of the beach, my feet sinking slightly as the sand wrapped around them, but we finally made it to a part that was somewhat grassy still before he stopped and sat down. I was confused for a moment before I followed, settling myself down beside him on the cool ground.





"What now?" I asked, my tone curious as I looked over towards him.

"Well.. relax, just be." He replied, so very smoothly.



And so we sat, and enjoy each other. We also enjoyed the stars, the cool breeze brought up from the lake, the waves splashing only feet from us as we chitchatted for what seemed like hours. I let myself be, or perhaps allowed myself to let go for those precious moments.





I didn't even realize his hand creeping towards me, his soft fingertips gently gliding over my skin as he made his move. I wasn't startled at least if I was I tried not to show it.





It seemed like an hour passed by but we finally started to gather ourselves up, and get ready to go back to the ranch. I hadn't even barely straightened myself out when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me in closer. What in the Berry... I gasped as I met my gray eyes with his penetrating gaze. "Raz..." I breathed it more or less.



"If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand." He whispered, his face was so close to mine, I froze almost not hearing what he was saying.



I looked at him, my lips quivering with uncertain words, I wasn't sure what to say but, "Raz." That is until I pulled away from him, looking down hating myself from the very center of my being. WTB, what did I just do, why couldn't I have just allowed it all to play out like the fantasies that danced around in my mind. "I am so sorry Raz, I just, I can't... not right now, I mean.." I fumbled for an explanation, though I could tell he was hurt either way.



I felt selfish, keeping myself from him when I knew I wanted to make it up to him, all that attitude I started out with and now he probably thought I was a prude, with serious issues. I guess I was, but I just couldn't let us start off like this, without being sure I wasn't going get my heart ripped out again.



I stood there waiting for him to answer but I think he felt embarrassed, reciting such sweet things to me all evening and now I had snatched away the precious, perfect moment. I wish he knew how much I hated myself, how much I wanted to slap myself for not accepting his advances. I fought off tears as I saw him turn slowly and walk off toward the horses to get them ready for the, most likely, awkward ride home.

What in the Berry, Moon, why do you keep screwing yourself over and putting yourself into these situations? The thought burned into my mind as we were silent most of the way home, and getting the horses unsaddled and brushed out. I would hope that I could conquer whatever was holding me back, and perhaps just maybe Raz would understand and see me tomorrow and perhaps I could explain why I couldn't allow myself this one piece of heaven. The idea of what I went through with Puck in Bridgeport stung me deep and for that I could tell it stung Raz as well.

2 comments:

  1. First love, always awkward isn't it? Hopefully she and Raz will figure it out.

    ReplyDelete